I would break any rule

Rahul got up at 11:30 and the curtains were wide shut which created a very dark surrounding. There was little to no sunlight penetrating the room and covered in a double blanket, leaving the bed seemed like a monumental task in itself.

Rahul had seemed so assured about his life just a year ago and on that cold winter morning in December, he seemed as lost as ever, struggling to maintain basic hygiene and good health. He also struggled to get through normal chores.

He had just started a new course and taken a sabbatical from his workplace. The year had been tough with heartbreak and funerals at distinct intervals reminding him about the reality that life would end one day. He managed to get up as he boiled a cup of black tea for himself with bloodshot eyes that made him look like a stoner.

His mother silently watched as she rolled chapatis to near perfection. She had gotten so good at doing this that she could do it with her eyes closed at the moment. She looked at him and tried to muster the courage to say something.

Despite her best attempts, she could only mutter one thing “Did you attend your class today?”. Online classes had been so much of a headache and with exams fast approaching he knew he had a lot of catching up to do. He replied in a shallow almost inaudible manner “Nope. I had a headache so I just slept through it.”. His mom tried her utmost to show natural concern as she retorted “You know you’ve got tests coming up right!” He mixed two spoons of sugar in his cup and with an indifferent tone stated, “Yes, Don’t worry. I”ll handle that”

But both of them knew that the growing concern wasn’t just regarding the examinations or his screwed-up sleep schedule. Rahul washed his face as he saw a barrage of texts from Varun and Isha in their WhatsApp group

‘Hey, do you guys wanna catch up in the evening?’

Rahul hadn’t met both of them since what felt like an eternity. Their trio was infamous throughout college. He really wanted to meet them but for some reason, his fingers froze and his throat had lumps. He couldn’t type a single word and he didn’t know how he felt until that moment.

He stepped out of the house and took a look at the garden. Something about the plants and the swings reminded him of a younger version of himself. He needed to get some stationeries before the exam, but then again does anyone really need a reason to get more journals, notebooks, or post-it notes.

He walked around as he saw Max strolling through the compound. Max immediately ran down toward him as Rahul started petting him. Max was the dog of their next-door neighbour but he loved him like his own. Sasha aunty pulled up to him as she was almost perpetually catching up with Max, Rahul even swore at a point that it was how she maintained her weight and balance.

Sasha Aunty mumbled through the words as she was still grunting from having to chase Max, “How do you do that? He always runs towards you whereas I have to always run behind him!”

Rahul gave a sinister smile and continued petting Max. She then continued with her usual inquisition, “It’s been a really long time. Where have you been? It’s like I never see you. We even stopped movie nights on Saturday now. You’ve like vanished huh busy boy.”

Rahul took a deep breath as he replied, “No Aunty, it’s just that I haven’t been keeping too well. Got out after ages today so haven’t really got time for a lot of things. We should catch up some time though.”

Sasha looked a bit worried at this moment, “You know, you should get a pet too. It helped me a lot with my health. See it keeps me fit and healthy and naturally happy too.”

Rahul's lips were particularly structured to one side now as he bit his lips and then continued, “You know Mama has a no pet policy at home. Been trying to get one since I was 5. I’ve given up now.”

Sasha looked at him with a sort of sorry feeling. She knew that being an only child could be lonely at times but having a sibling for a majority of your young formative years and then suddenly being forced to live without them could only be tougher.

He sat down and he looked around. He had always harboured his dream of being a writer. Not a fancy bestseller or anything, just a writer who does enough to make a comfortable living and enjoys the sunsets. Oh yes, sunsets and stars were his biggest weaknesses. There was nothing more beautiful than these spectacles of nature to him.

Varun and Isha finally met in the evening at their usual spot in the garden. After a long embrace, Isha finally popped a question, “What happened to Rahul? Is he meeting us today or no?”. Varun sat there and took a deep sigh “I don’t think he is going to make it. He’s been really distant lately. As in something is eating him but I don’t really know how to say it!”

Rahul sat at his laptop, despite everything that went on, writing was the ultimate safe space for him. From a young age, he wanted to be a storyteller and poetry was something that filled him with a unique sense of joy and fulfilment.

‘Every time I sit down to continue my story, I feel like scrapping it all over again. Like deleting all the words and starting fresh. I have started innumerable stories but always somehow find it difficult to finish them. A part of my soul shall always reside in the stories that I tell.’

Rahul once again deleted all these words. He always remembered a quote from Hemingway which stated,

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed”

But it wasn’t so easy to bleed after all was it. Losing a part of yourself it just as hard as gaining it. So Rahul sat down and stared at a blank screen. After 5 minutes of staring which he must have sworn felt like an eternity, Rahul finally picked up his phone and then went on to YouTube before going to Instagram.

He got back after 35 minutes which felt like less than 2. He then put it all down and in a rush of emotion wrote a blog post that was titled ‘Note to self. His blog was more of a random rant/ philosophical discussion on topics that popped into his head from time to time.

The blog was a good way to keep his mind of things but Rahul had been out of place for a really long time now. He got a text and his expression was something that was in between a smile and a smirk. ‘Ready for football tomorrow?’

It had been months since he had touched the ball but then again, he could never say no to football. It was one of the few things that he looked forward to.

He tied his boots and went to the turf; he ritually touched the ground as a sign of respect and immediately got into his zone. The football field did that, it took boys and turned them into men who had a sense of purpose and direction. He met Karan and all his other buddies after a long time and went along hugging all of them.

Arjun hugged him as he said, “Hey I’m sorry for your loss. I wanted to meet you after but I couldn’t. Also, are you feeling better now? I knew that you were almost bedridden for a while there.”

Rahul took a deep breath and managed a small smile, it felt good that there was someone to ask him about his state of affairs. “I’m much better now. Thanks though. I’m all ready to whoop your ass.” Arjun gave him a playful sinister look as he mumbled under his breath ‘GAME ON’.

It was a refreshing game and while Rahul couldn’t recreate his old magic on the pitch there were instances when he did pull a rabbit out of the hat but was mostly left breathless after the first 20 minutes. They all went to grab a bite after the game was done and Karan asked Rahul what he had been up to. He replied in a mundane manner, “Nothing much. I’ve been reading a lot of books recently. Almost one a week. I think my mum is fed up already. I could open up a bookstore though but apart from that just working on my blog and chilling for a while.”

Karan gave an almost brotherly smile as he said, ‘Nice to hear that.’ Rahul felt a little better as it had been a long time since he had played and really felt like he belonged at one place. But the thing is that our gadgets can be our biggest downfall at times. He removed his phone to check Instagram and right into his feed, there was the picture of a beautiful couple. He didn’t even know them that well yet he felt a pang of grief after seeing that filtered picture and smile.

It had been two months since he had parted ways with Niharika but every once in a while, that feeling of despair flashed in front of him. It had been a dark time for him recently and he felt more fragile than he had ever been. He went home and immediately had a shower, almost explicitly ignoring his mum and dad who were sitting in the living room.

He tried to pace his breaths as he could feel a sense of heaviness welling up inside of him. He put the shower on and as the first drops of water hit his body, the tears started to roll down his eyes. He sobbed but made sure that he could not be heard outside. He then got a hold of himself and finished his shower.

They had their dinner together after a while and Rahul hit the sack as he felt a fever brewing from within him. He got up with excruciating pain in his body the next day. He would again be sick for a while but refused to go see the doctor.

It had been three days now and he could finally gain the strength to walk again. His birthday was coming up in a week but he wasn’t really in the mood for a big celebration anyway. Later in the evening, he decided to take a walk down in the building as his mother had to go to get the groceries.

He saw Sasha Aunty with Max and almost instinctively started petting him. His mother smiled at Sasha and warned Rahul to keep Max away from him and to immediately use his sanitizer after that. Rahul seemed lost but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

His birthday had finally arrived and Rahul got up late as ever but at least he had a barrage of phone calls and messages to attend to at midnight. His Mum woke him up and told him to hurry, “ Get ready fast, we’re going out for lunch.” Rahul hadn’t been in the mood to go out but he didn’t want to start his birthday on a sour tone so he reluctantly decided to get dressed.

As they removed the car and 5 minutes into their path Rahul’s father stopped the car and told his mom to step outside and get something that needed to be picked up. Rahul was in the backseat, busy replying to messages when his mum knocked on the window and told him to come outside.

As she held his hand she led him inside a dog shelter, which confused him but as she entered inside, she gave him a wide smile and said ‘This is your gift’. He was still a bit confused as she elaborated further ‘You can choose anyone from here. We’re adopting a pet.” His initial shock had turned to excitement and now joy. He looked like a man who was possessed by a smiling soul if such a thing ever existed but he most certainly could not believe his eyes. He chose a 1-month-old Golden Retriever that was kept at the far end and continued playing with it in the car.

They then went back home and told their neighbours to keep the dog for a while as they went ahead and enjoyed a family lunch. Rahul couldn’t stop smiling throughout lunch. His Mum and Dad couldn’t help but watch with happiness. Mum cleared her throat and then said, ‘Only two conditions now. You’ll take proper care of the puppy and please give him a good simple name which isn’t too fancy or controversial.’

Later that night Rahul’s Grandma called and he spoke about the excitement over his new ‘FRIEND’. She spoke to Rahul’s Mum and they had a hearty discussion. She stated, “But I know that you hate any pets and they would never be allowed in your house.” Rahul’s Mum looked across the room as he was still playing with his 1-month-old friend. She then replied, “I had forgotten what it was to see him smile again. I just wanted to see that again. I saw that after a really long time today and I would break any rule if it would make him that happy.”