Flaring passions

 It's 6:30 am on a Monday morning, and the petrichor smell of the earth permeates through the room. The early rain on Sunday has made the weather more pleasant. I hear the constant whirring of the fan and feel a cloak of invisibility shrouding me, with the birds chirping in the background. As a child, I dreamed of becoming many things: a painter who brought walls to life, a footballer dazzling across the pitch, a writer who pierced your heart with words. But more importantly, the childhood version dreamt of an adult who strode confidently, whose personality was self-assured, who grew into himself organically. What no one taught you was that this path isn’t linear, especially when your profession takes you down the road less travelled, and it does make a difference.  As a writer, I’m constantly hunting for the perfect turn of phrase, biting my teeth when I find it in prose or poems written by another. Past mistakes replay themselves in my mind like a stuck tape recorder, ...

 The Japanese author is known for his fictional realism intertwined with elements of mysticism. A perfect blend of simplistic dialogues and settings combined with philosophical musings makes a Murakami story appealing. His non-linear narrative and ability to attract a large audience have seen him reach the pinnacles of success as an author. Haruki Murakami was born in Kyoto, Japan in 1949 and attended the Waseda University in Tokyo. Murakami opened a small jazz bar along with his wife post-college, running the place together for seven years. The Japanese author had his eureka moment in 1978 seated in the bleachers of the Jingu stadium while watching the Yakult Swallows vs Hiroshima Carp game. An American baseball player Dave Hilton came to bat, and in that instance, Murakami knew he could write a novel. After that, he wrote his debut novel titled ‘Hear the Wind Sing’ for which he won the Gunzou Literature Prize for budding writers in 1979. That was the start of a stellar writin...

So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted again on this blog. While there are several excuses that I could make with regards to time as in handling a job and education, this time has also helped me make some revelations. Seeing how my academic and professional life has been in the past few years, I have already come to the conclusion that the energy you give something could be way more important than the amount of time you spend on it. Whether it was clearing exams, or juggling between jobs and trying to stay a true artist simultaneously. Discipline is essential but I believe that focus has become one of the most precious commodities in our times. I always believed that the modern age was vying for our time and attention, but then I realised that they actually wanted our focus. The people running the ads or controlling the algorithm maybe want us not just to spend time but think obsessively about the new features being launched, the courses or products being advertised. This meant one...

Isn’t grief a wonderfully sad thing at times? It can be an antithesis and oxymoron at the same time. A feeling of despair where you do not want to be left alone yet a moment of inability to have social interactions with a whole lot of people. Grief is all the love that you want to give but gets stuck in your throat waiting for something to relieve the pressure, until which it suffocates the life out of you. It can be a mortifying experience that can hold you, hostage, in your own body with everywhere to go but nowhere to be. Shouldn’t your grief be a little further away from you at times? Sometimes it slowly creeps up on you and surrounds you from all sides before you even realise that it is starting to take over your life. There comes a point where no distraction is enough to cover the demons that have haunted and continue to haunt you. The worst thing about grief is not just the trauma that you face but the fact that there is guilt associated whenever you see an opportunity that can ...

Every now and then a door bangs so loudly that the reverberations leave you startled for days on end. The noise may fade out but the fact that someone who is so close to you can express so much rage and anger is scary. It also tells you so much about what you thought about people. People most often do the things they tell others to refrain from. We live in a world that likes to preach secularism but has already constructed divides in its own mind. A race that loves to harp and crib about almost everything under the sun, yet almost instinctively spills lines such as ‘there is no point in cribbing.’ The point is that there is nothing wrong with venting from time to time. To err is only human but to accept your flaws is divine. It gives the other person so much clarity and also equips those upon whom you have the influence to do. People at times can be very careless as to how their actions and not their words can affect the childhood of people, breeding a generation of people who never re...

Our need to show other people how strong we are at times can be our greatest weakness in a world that is becoming increasingly distant, polarised and lonely.   Grief as we know it can be such a heavy thing. We feel it within our souls but most of the time there isn’t any tangible way of explaining it to others. The longing for something that did not happen; the misunderstanding of something that should or should not have been said, are all thoughts that pop into our heads from time to time. The world teaches you to numb the pain with distractions, with diets and physical regimes and while some of those may work to a great extent, very few talk about the psychological work involved in overcoming grief. The fact that happiness and grief can co-exist in a person simultaneously may seem like an anomaly, but experience tells us otherwise. Sometimes our desire to hide our perceived weakness can hurt those close to us in ways we cannot fathom. Unintentionally we can cause severe pain to t...

  Jai looked out of the window as the rays of the sun illuminated his face showcasing undertones of anxiety and excitement. He was about to go for the school trials of his football team but continuously kept fidgeting with his fingers now. His skills had always been superior to his fellow peers but that wasn’t the issues that was plaguing him. He did not have boots to play, and time was running out. Now that the basic premise is set, let us look at a tale that encompasses a wide variety of perspectives, and the things people would do for their near and dear ones. Jai was getting late for school and Dadu was furiously trying to comb his hair to make him look presentable. He put the water bottle around the young boy’s neck and gave him a tight hug as the school bus came to pick him up. Dadi was busy in the kitchen preparing the meals for the day and Dadu decided to go to the park to meet his regular gang after dropping off his grandson. As soon as he entered, Harish who was alr...

  Hari had come a long way in search of something more than himself. Was he going tp discover something out of this world? Was it going to be something that laid dormant within him? or was this entire journey going to be a huge fiasco? The answer to all of these questions were just a few steps away from him now. He came face to face with the huge door of the monastery. He could not help but view with an astonished gaze as to the marvellous yet simplistic architecture. There was something soothing yet focussed about the environment there. Two monks with folded hands and shaved heads greeted him at the entrance and their smile warmed his heart immediately. He wanted to ask them a list of questions but sensing the agitation in his manoeuvre the monks led him straight to their master. The master sensed a longing for something in his eyes but before Hari could take his first words, the master told him that he should take rest in their guest room that was above. The main of chief p...

Have you ever felt like everything around you was slowly starting to sink whilst you had nothing to hold on to? Has your night and day meshed into one seemingly incomprehensible nightmare where you were neither awake nor asleep? Well, grief can do many things to a man but most often than not it creeps up like a shadow in the dark only to consume you entirely before you realise it. This anxious emotion has always felt like words that are stuck in your throat but cannot seem to find an outlet. It’s all the love that you want to put into this world but seemingly unseen forces stop you from doing so. It eventually gets collected in the corner of your eyes and the depths of your heart only to resurface at the most important time ever. Grief can seem like a comforter to the afflicted when nothing goes your way but most importantly it breaks you down and creates a whole different personality from the ashes that are left behind. Once you’ve weathered this storm the past version seems like a co...

And on that cold winter night, Jason had managed to pull off what seemed like the prettiest fairy-tale date ever. It started in the afternoon when he picked up Jennifer who wore a pretty red dress with her hair parted to one side. He couldn’t take her eyes off her but the day was just about to start and the best was yet to come. Jason took her to a book café that was about 10 minutes from where she lived. They still remembered when they had gone there for the first time but little did, they know that their friendship would one day turn into something that would become even more special. That day they had both almost instantaneously chosen a copy of ‘The Midnight Library’ that was hanging out by the shelf. Over time they would frequent that place and it served as the perfect getaway down the road. Seema Aunty who owned the café was now more of a friend than a formal acquaintance. She couldn’t help but gaze as Rachel walked in with Jason. She gave them a welcoming and playful smile w...

If you’re wondering whether there is a typo in the title, there most certainly isn’t one. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the world, no one really teaches us to take a step back and evaluate all the things that no longer work in our favour. The art of unlearning is just as if not more important than the act of learning something. Giving up on something even if it is putting you into an emotionally and mentally toxic place is seen as a sign of weakness and even looked down upon in many cultures and traditions. But what happens when holding on takes more from you than letting go of a trait that no longer serves its purpose. Taking a break to evaluate something is thought of as taboo in a world that wants you to work 24 x 7 either on yourself if not in your job. Why does every skill or talent have to be converted into a financially viable business and why shouldn't I question the rules of the world? Shouldn’t we all get a chance to evaluate what works best for us without harming t...

Rahul got up at 11:30 and the curtains were wide shut which created a very dark surrounding. There was little to no sunlight penetrating the room and covered in a double blanket, leaving the bed seemed like a monumental task in itself. Rahul had seemed so assured about his life just a year ago and on that cold winter morning in December, he seemed as lost as ever, struggling to maintain basic hygiene and good health. He also struggled to get through normal chores. He had just started a new course and taken a sabbatical from his workplace. The year had been tough with heartbreak and funerals at distinct intervals reminding him about the reality that life would end one day. He managed to get up as he boiled a cup of black tea for himself with bloodshot eyes that made him look like a stoner. His mother silently watched as she rolled chapatis to near perfection. She had gotten so good at doing this that she could do it with her eyes closed at the moment. She looked at him and tried to must...

            ‘Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not good at something, not even me’. So, let’s start the post with this quote, and hopefully, by the end of the article, you will understand why. Most days seem like a battle to you and that is alright. Hey, yes you, I’ve got your back. Yes, I’ve got your back even if you can’t do simple chores today. I’ve got your back even if you can’t muster the courage to groom yourself or be presentable today. Yes, I love you more than ever even if you make so many mistakes and fail that test which can apparently put your crumbling life in order.  Take a deep breath and sit with your thoughts for a while. You’ve been through a lot and let’s acknowledge that rather than pushing the stuff of toxic positivity down your throat. Learn to say ‘No’ every once in a while. You’ve turned into an opinionated person, not only do I like that but also wholeheartedly respect that.  The world will constantly try to chan...

So, I’ve heard that you’ve been to hell and back. I see that you passed through the eye of the needle and waded the storm you thought would be the end of you. I’m not here to glorify your struggles, at the same time I won’t invalidate them. If you’ve come out onto the other side, you wouldn’t believe how proud I am and if you feel like you’re still stuck in that patch, better things are on their way. Count your blessings is an easy quote that gets mumbled all the time. It may sound aesthetic and a good fit for a blog post but it can be the toughest thing to do when your mind is fuzzy and distracted by unwanted emotions. Getting through the day can be a tumultuous task and masking it all with a smile is even tougher. Well doesn’t time heal all wounds? I like to think it does not and the actions you take to get over it are much more important than the amount of time that you spend pondering about the incident. ‘Give it some time’ isn’t always the best advice when someone is hanging b...

“Why do we deny ourselves the love that we so freely give to others?” Every time I see this quote it makes me question why am I so harsh on myself. What kind of materialistic prize do I have to achieve so that my inner critic and perfectionist will finally be satisfied. I realised that the world taught us to love other people with an open heart and unjudgmental eyes so why can’t we do the same thing when it comes to our personal life. As we grew up throughout school and life our close ones taught us that we should hold ourselves to a high moral ground. That we should work hard to achieve everything that we want in life but nobody ever taught us the importance of being kind to ourselves. The greatest tragedy of our times isn’t that we can’t shower affection on others but the fact that we can’t show that same level of kindness towards ourself. Creating a safe space within The world can be a cruel place at times but the best thing about fighting a tough battle is that it builds character....

Is kindness a thing or an emotion that shapes our outlook of things? Staring at the laptop as it's just past midnight my mind wanders into what is the true meaning of kindness. Only a few years ago I felt like I knew what it meant to be kind to each other but recently I have been revisiting my decisions and definitions of life. My teacher told me to be kind to everyone around me. Should I thus reserve such chivalry for Lucifer himself? Would it not be wrong if I showed some form of grace towards him. My parents told me to be gentle to everyone that I met. Should I also reserve such candour for the people who were not to be seen when I needed them the most or should I just snub these thoughts in the name of forgiveness and never think about it again. Does ‘Kindness’ have a concrete definition? Can I learn a formula that proves that I can be kind and gentle in every situation without having to tear my heart open? Is there some solution where I do not have to think twice before doing ...

Good and bad are such subjective terms, cultivating healthy self-esteem can be a different process for different people. Faith is a journey that takes people on different paths. There is no right or wrong as they can be blurred between the lines. Forgiveness can be really hard at times but this one statement is something that brings clarity into my life.  Never do something that you wouldn’t want others to do to you This is a simple statement that doesn’t really need more explanation. It can be explained to a 6-year-old student and that provides a great little buffer for things. It teaches you what you should expect from others but more importantly what you should uphold yourself. Doing something without any expectation may sound very idealistic but the thing is that there will come a time when it will take a toll on you. Putting yourself first is also important and some people learn this truth the hard way. Actions will always have consequences and what you do for others will ulti...